Weeds

 I feel like there is no emotion that can't be explained with a Taylor Swift song :) But I have to be careful because my heart will create emotions when I am listening to certain songs. "Mine" came on the radio as I was driving and I could feel myself going back to him.  I have become so addicted to feeling that high from liking someone that I feel like I cannot separate my identity from it. This weed has become the main flower of my life and as school is just around the corner I am scared I will continue to ignore because I am so overwhelmed by it. It's not just the approval i'm after, its the all-around pursuit that I want. But its more complicated than that. I want him to pursue me first, but then allow me to chase, and be excited by the relationship. My biggest pet peeve is when I feel trapped by someone. I am independent to my core and I need to feel free, like I have the choice to be there, not simply because I feel badly about the situation. My dream man is God. I wasn't going to originally type that, but the Holy Spirit had something else in mind. I wanted to type" My dream man is out there, waiting, and I'll find him one day, and he'll be everything I'm looking for in a man and more.", but as I step back and look at that phrase I realize God is everything in a man and more. I can feel myself getting closer to God, yet there are still so many weeds that inhibit a functioning relationship with Him. And I know that until I can have a functional relationship with God on my own, and be truly in love with Him, I will not find the true love God has planned for me to share with my dream man.