I am a failure.

I have failed. This could mean a bunch of different things and right now if feels like most of them probably apply. It stinks. A few other words come to mind but that is definitely not the point. The reason for existence, the reason for school, the reason for breathing is to glorify God.
Psalm 19:1 "The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork." is the common verse that comes to mind and man, do I want to sit in that tonight. The HEAVENS declare the glory of God. If I felt like typing forever I could caps lock a different word each time and it still not impact my soul enough. I might need to sleep under some stars tonight because right now, failure does not feel like it glorifies God. I would love to give God the full glory and honor when I get great grades, I succeed at work, or go on a great run and feel just spectacular. THAT is when I love giving God the glory because I feel like I get a piece of it. I feel particularly worthy of giving God the glory and I like it that way. Now is not a time when I feel worthy to give God the full glory. Now is when I want to sulk in my shame and anger of my poor performance. God still reigns. God is still glorified and I certainly feel a deeper sense of trust when I look back on all the hard work of the semester and do not see a blazing "A" for every single class. I am thankful for His continual grace and call to get my eyes out of my navel and onto the blazing work of Christ crucified and resurrected to inform my failed performance! 

Good Sunday

I am so thankful for Sunday's and the challenge to simply take today and rest. Rest in the quietness of my room, reading, sharing the time with friends and other very broken people worshipping our Creator, hearing a sermon, taking communion, going on a walk with my mom :) all of these things bring such rest to my soul and I am so glad God allows us to experience these things! I was challenged on Friday by Hannah to confidently thank God for the good things in our lives. I admitted my uncertainty over whether I could thank God that my sister's laptop was returned and she so graciously pointed out that every good thing is from God, including the return of Kristina's stolen laptop! SO I am thankful for cloudy days, thinkthin bars, watermelon, muffins, communion, friends who challenge me to be real, friends who forgive, family who listens and cares about me, who are gracious when we make mistakes and forgetful of embarrassing moments :) I am also thankful for the cross and the rest and grace that comes with it. Pastor Jeff talked about the three implications of the cross, how it confronts our sin, demonstrates God's love for us, and gives us the foundation to love others. All of these things confront me in my selfishness and I was thankful to pray with Cristina!