Love

I need verses of encouragement because I am drowning in my own doubt. My head reminds me that I am loved and God will provide this security and affirmation that I am crying for. I know this is a process of me finding myself in Christ, everyday I must take up my cross and follow Christ because I end up happy in this love story. I don't care who I end up with because my life does not end when I get married. I have developed this tunnel vision to the day I get married as if it is the only day that matters.
(Thought that someone actually reads this) I write this to help myself see just how ridiculous my insecurities are when they are typed out in front of me. I don't want an umbrella for this healing rain. I am not afraid to be changed for the good of the Lord. I find myself wanting to be certain places forever (even eating certain foods forever) but most of all, I want to stand in the glory of the Lord forever. If that means being single forever, than to the nunnery I go. I get so lost in the longings of this life I want to be in something completely. Like when you are listening to a song and you wish the notes would bind with every cell in your body so you and the song were one. When the song flowed, you flowed. When it cried out of pain, you were falling right along with it.
(Butterscotch and Chocolate Chip cookie break) I always look like such a loser when I try to become one with the music. I close my eyes and sway my head back and forth. It always makes me wish I was a bird. I love how God promises to take care of such carefree beings.

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Matthew 6:26 NIV

The danger about these mood swings I get in once I have a cookie is that I shove it under the rug instead of continuing to wrestle with it with God. I love confrontation when it makes me feel better afterwards, but a lot of times, confrontation with God has left me frustrated with myself. I keep messing up! I go through phases of great mental focus, and then i'll lose it in a few hours time and then I'm back where I was before the summer. God reminds me that contentment and self-control comes with time, and I'll wait willingly but I wanted verses to remind me to perservere through this valley.
I wanted verses about perseverance, but the Holy Spirit reminded me that I need a reminder of God's perfect love because if I cling to that, it will dispel any doubts in my mind.

Pslam 100:5

"For the Lord is good. His unfailing love continues forever, and his faithfulness continues to each generation."