Desert Pass

This drought stings. There is a sharp reminder of what was and it is painful. I am so thankful for the desert and yet the battle exists where I also despise it for its beauty, for the desperation required under a tear-stained face. Why can't it be easier? And yet even typing that out a smile forms on my face. I don't want easy, I just want results. I love this space to exist in brokenness knowing that God has promised healing. I just want the healing now. I am so comfortable and warm in this moment, but there is a reality beyond my feeling. I want to see Christ for who He is, regardless of who I feel that He is today. He has covered the scales, "it is finished". I want to pursue life-giving things because He gave up His life to give me life and yet all it takes is one look into my life to see that I do not in fact pursue life-giving things. I desire selfish gain, I am angry when I cannot control others, when I cannot comprehend the bigger picture. I CANNOT SEE IT. Drawn back to the sand. Where desert and growth collide, there is a mixture of desert ashes and streams flowing, all from the same hands.