Sing Like Never Before

Why are you good beyond any doubt? Why can I sing to you in my head, while my heart cries out in longing to be anointed by an idol that long before hurt me? This singing, this soreness of fingers feels incredible because slowly, but surely, I am feeling process in guitar. My life feels like an entirely different story. I feel as though nothing is ahead of me, relationship-wise. I have so many incredible friendships that do not live in that building on that hill. Around myself all I can see is that thing which I cannot have at the moment. I must open my eyes to the goodness around me and stop playing with these mud pies! Mars Hill is an incredible church and it is clear that I am to belong there. period. not "for the time being", because my heart alone absolutely cannot handle entering into that building again. Believe me, I tried, so hard my heart fought to be free of all the anxiety that still haunts me but it flooded back all the same. Dang it! I cried out in anger, in longing, to return to that place I was so sure I belonged. But it always seems to turn to Christ, by His incredible grace, and it was clear in those moments where I was going! Thank you Jesus for your faithfulness and goodness in leading me so clearly today, especially when I reacted like a child, kicking and screaming. Thank you.